Grumpopotamus

I feel ridiculous.  This morning, I cried like a baby on my way to work because I realized that today is the last day I will ever be a mom to a two year old.  (Is that insane?  Should I be happy?)  My little Em will be 3 tomorrow.  I cannot believe that my sweet, spirited little girl will be 3.  

It feels like she just came home yesterday.  She came home from Guatemala on the day she turned 9 months old.  She was a quiet baby for the first few months; the grieving was horrible.  Poor baby…she was in an unfamiliar place with people that didn’t speak spanish, the smells were different and her schedule was different.  I remember that during the day, she clung to me with such intensity.  She would have nothing to do with anyone else except for Sam.  At night, when she would wake up screaming, I would go in to console her and she would stare at me wide eyed in sheer horror –  she was wanting me to be a bad dream and was expecting her foster mother in Guatemala to be the one to comfort her.  After a few months, when the grieving had slowed down she realized that her Daddy was (is) the best thing since sliced bread.  Since then, she’s been a Daddy’s Girl through and through.

Now, Em talks from the minute she wakes up until the minute she goes to bed.  She wants to do everything that Sam does, but she is determined to do it dressed as a princess.  She has a fantastic sense of humor; she constantly makes me laugh with her logic and attitude.  Em told me not too long ago that she did not want any kisses because the kisses would break her.  If I am doing something and she feels like I’m not listening to her, she is quick to force herself in front of my face and say, “I am talking to you!”  She certainly has the skills to make people pay attention to her.

I am so sad that I will never be a Mom to a 2 year old again; however, I am looking forward to 3.  It will certainly be an adventure.

My Sweet Girl

Y’all.  I don’t even know what to say.  I don’t know this family at all but their story has me both sad and so grateful this morning.  Why does their story make me sad?  Their beautiful baby, Maddie, died last night.  She was only seventeen months old.  (You can visit their site here.)  As a parent, I cannot even fathom what they are going through today and what they will go through for the rest of their lives.  

Why am I grateful?  Simply because my children, knock on wood, are healthy. Of course, that can change.  I can guarantee that next time I get frustrated that Sam is asking me to play just one more Bakugan game with him or Em wants me to have a tea party with her, I will think of the Spohr Family and how they didn’t have that chance to have one more cuddle with their Maddie.

*If you are so inclined:  In lieu of flowers, you can contribute to the March of Dimes in memory of Madeline Alice Spohr.*

So, over the weekend I started to have an itchy throat.  I thought it was my allergies acting up because the pollen down here is crazy bad.  Well, by Sunday my throat hurt BAD.  Sunday night, I had the chills; I had a snuggie on, plus two blankets and was still freezing.  I went to the doctor yesterday and my worst thoughts were confirmed.  STREP.  Yuck.  

In the past month, I have missed work because of two cases of pneumonia and now strep.  I hope I don’t get fired.  That would totally suck.  At least I have notes from my doctor, but still it makes me nervous.

I’m going back to bed now.